It's been awhile and we have a new placement.

It's been some time since I have written a blog post. I guess all this parenting stuff keeps me pretty busy and when I do have some down time I'll be honest I usually sleep, search Facebook, Pintrest and Instagram.  But of course a ton has happened since I last posted.  Two of the three siblings went home in October of last year and the baby (toddler now) is still with us.  We love him so much and have grown so attached to this little one it will break my heart into a million pieces when he goes home.  He continues to have a lot of developmental delays but he has made HUGE progress and continues to make gains everyday.  He is such a sweet boy, he loves giving hugs and blowing kisses and it melts my heart when he smiles and laughs.  From October through March we were down to three kids until I called my worker and told her we were ready to except more placements.  Within a few weeks we got the call for our new Little Guy.  He's really sweet and is settling in pretty well.  Life with two babies is really crazy, I guess it's like having twins.  Mr. M isn't walking yet so I'm carrying around two bundles of joy.  Going anywhere requires a lot of time and preparation and there is rarely a time when a baby isn't awake (including during the night.)  We have no idea how long Little Guy will be with us, his next court date is in May and Mr. M has a court date coming up in April.  I don't anticipate that Mr. M will be going home but no one knows for sure what the judge will decide.  Little Guy's parents will have to work their plan in order to get him back and at this point it'd to early to tell how they will do.  The not knowing part of foster care is so maddening sometimes.  I can sit for hours or even days trying to think out every scenario that might play out at court and of course I dream of the day that we would be able to make a child ours.  There are so many days when I think we need to quit this gig.  I should go back to work and we should just concentrate on "our" family.  Then I hear God talking to me, telling me that the work our family is doing is for his glory and in accordance with his will for our lives.  Caring for the least of these is hard and emotional and so much work but it's also needed.  I'm needed, God needs me and my family to do this.  He needs families like ours to care for these broken children showing them the love of Christ even if for just a moment.  He is in control and he promises in his word that he works all things for the good of his people so even when I don't understand how children can be returned to terrible situations I can be assured that the good we are doing (to bring Him glory) He will work for good even if I can't see it. He gives us the strength to carry on.  People are always telling me that I'm such an amazing person for being a foster parent.  I often give the glory back to God and try to convey that I am nothing really and that any good work that is being done through me is from God.  I can not do any of this.  I am an impatient, often crabby, selfish person.  But look what God is able to do even through me.  That is how I know this is a call from God.  If I could do this all on my own then God wouldn't be in it.