It's Mother's Day Weekend

That's right I celebrate the whole weekend. Too bad no one else in the family does. On a normal Saturday I take care of kids and do chores around the house. We usually have a sporting event to attend for Goose or Bubba too.  But this Saturday, in honor of Mother's Day I......wait for it.....took care of kids and did chores around the house.  Well, I'm a mom right the job doesn't stop even if it is Mother's day.  The challenges of five kids continue even on a holiday.  Oh well, I asked for it right.

Although this past 8 weeks has been totally crazy with 5 kids I really wouldn't change a thing.  There have been so many struggles and stresses for every one of us, but there has been real joy as well. I can't say enough wonderful things about Goose who struggles with anxiety and other attachment/trauma issues.  I knew bringing in three new people to the family was literally going to rock her world.  I questioned our decision over and over, so fearful that our choice to Foster kids was going to effect her in an overwhelming amount of negative ways.  Boy was I wrong.  She has been amazing and such a wonderful help to me. She amazes me with her willingness to help and she steps up to the challenge of "oldest of five" with such grace.  Don't get me wrong she has had her struggles, and the words "I just want things to go back to normal" have come out of her mouth more then once, but she is working through the stress and conquering it day by day.

The Littles, as we call them, have adjusted really well considering their world has been turned upside down.  Slowly I have seen each of them become more comfortable in our home, letting certain guards down and beginning to open to our love.  I can't imagine what they must be thinking, how hard it must be to be away from mommy and daddy despite the fact that the environment was less then optimal. The trauma they are going through is real and fierce.

I just recently took a DCFS class for foster care training hours on trauma and it's effects on children.  As adults we often think that these things won't have long term effects on children, especially if they are young, but research shows that is not the case.  The good news is that when these kids are placed with caring foster families that know about trauma they have the best chance for recovery.  The behaviors of traumatized children can often be pretty extreme because of their history, so knowing this in advance and having stratigies to work with them, is essential.

So....that's what we are doing, working hard to provide them with a loving, consistent, nurturing environment that focuses on relationships rather then consequences when their behaviors are out of control.  It's not always easy and we fail often but as with all things it's a work in progress.